OptimisticAlice

Simplicity

2009-09-15T01:35:00Z

Why can't I be content? The grass always looks greener no matter what situation we're in, I guess.

5 years ago I was 22, pregnant, alone, and had absolutely nothing to show from my previous 4 years of college hopping. 3 years ago I got what I thought I had wanted for the previous 2, and quickliy found out what a total mistake that was. Then I found myself alone once more, in a decent apartment with my son, wishing I had someone to snuggle up with on those cold nights. Just not feeling so lonely on the holidays would have sufficed. Then came Brandon. They say you find love when you are least expecting it and I did...just not with him. I did something I always swore I'd never do. I cheated on a boyfriend and wound up finding the love of my life... my "Manolo". Andy asked us to move in back in January and in May, we became Hoosiers. Life is good but what I thought I was content having, I have found I am not. I never thought I was the type of girl who wanted the 2.5 kids, white picket fence, and husband to come home to. As usual, I was wrong. Now more than ever I so badly want all the things "every girl wants". I want to come home to Andy, play with Aidan, cook dinner for my boys, take the dogs on walks in the park, read to Aidan at night and kiss Andy goodnight every night. *Sigh*

My current issue? Roommates. I'm sick of them. Not them personally, but the fact other people live in what is supposed to be Andy, Aidan's and my house. I want what my sisters and brothers have...a home only they come home to. A home where they invite friends over when they want them, and don't worry about who is there for a bonfire at all hours of the night. I want it to be quiet when I need quiet, and the ability to blast the stereo with my music when I want it loud. I want Andy's undivided attention. I want the grown men who should have been on their own years ago, to move out and let us be a family. I want everybody to get the hell out and let me have what I deserve. Its selfish I guess, but for once, it would be so nice for something in my life to happen normally.

I write so I don't bite Andy's head off or drive him crazy with my incessant bitching about asking the roommates, once again, when they are moving out. We get to get rid of one for now; the other will go next Spring. I hope one day, when the 2.5 kids are playing in the picket fenced yard, that I can look back on this and laugh. Until then, I'll write so I don't go crazy. : )

Roommate Update

2009-07-02T12:40:32Z

Well, I did all I knew to do...I tried talking to my BF about the whole f*ed up situation and basically am right back where we started. We layed in bed, in the dark and I told him how neither of us were raised in a frat house and my son wasn't going to be either. He said he understood and seemed to agree with me UNTIL I brought up the question as to what we are going to do about getting the leechy roomie #1 to get the hell out so man whore roomie #2 can move downstairs. His response to me was bascially, "Look just give him time to move out. What do you want me to do, call the cops??" Now this caught me as extremely ironic because it wasn't but a few months ago when my BF wanted to do just that to get him out! That is what I'm not understanding. How the fuck do you go from wanting to kick his ass to the curb and saying you're tired of everyone catering to roomie #1, and that he needs to grow up and do something on his own to being ok with him STILL living in your house after you told him to be out a month ago. I don't get it. All I know is while I do NOT want to do this, I'm about to give ol' BF the "either you live up to your end of the deal or I'm moving out." We've lived here a whopping month now and I do not want to move, but I also don't want my son and I living in a frat house. I'm WAY too stressed on a daily basis about it. Anyhoo, just an update. If anyone has any insight or opinions they'd like to share, I'm game, Please just don't tell me to "dump pansy boyfriend" as someone did on Yahoo. I love him and while I do feel he's showing no backbone in this, this is our only beef. Ok, gotta go...

So stressed

2009-06-30T12:16:32Z

ARGH!!!!

I am so incredibly stressed right now.   Ah, where to start...

Ok, first off, my boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and he asked me to move in back in February. He owns his own place and at the time had 2 roommates to cut down on the bills. Well, when he asked me to move in back in Jan., we discussed and agreed that the roommate who currently rents the basement apartment would move out and the other guy who rents one of the upstairs bedrooms would move in down there for the time being since he seemed to be a good roomie and always paid his rent on time, etc. We figured this arrangement would work at least for a few months since roomie #2 was new to the area and this would give him time to save up some cash and get his own place.   WELL, roomie #1 was supposed to have been out by the end of MAY. Its now June 30th and my son and I have been living here a month with both roomies. The deal was once roomie #1 was out and roomie #2 was downstairs, the thir bedroom would be made into a playroom for my son. What has me pissed is this... its the end of June, my kid's stuff is STILL in boxes at the top of the stairs waiting on everyone to move!  Roomie #1 is a piece of poo who is unmotivated to do anything and for some reason EVERYONE I know caters to everything he wants. Its ridiculous.  My boyfriend has "talked to him" several times about moving out but its always in text messages and although he is one who bitches about the way others cater to this guy as well, I feel he is doing the exact same thing by not telling him to get the fuck out!   My BF says he wants him out as well and acts pissed that he's not out, so then why is he not doing anything about it?  I would have never moved in if I knew this was going to happen and it makes me SO mad because when its just my BF and kiddo and I in the house, everything is great.

Its also causing problems with me wanting roomie #2 to stay as well because since he hasn't moved to the basement, we share a bathroom with him and he sleeps right next to my son. He's a nice guy and all but I haven't lived with roommates since I was in college, and have NO desire to ever again. There have been several instances where Roomie #2 has brought people over to drink and while he keeps them outside, they are still in my son's presence and roomie will take them through our house to show it to them. Drives me nuts!!!   The last incident where he really pissed me off was when my son and I woke up to some random girl lying on our couch downstairs with the roomie no where to be seen. This is NOT the environment I want my son growing up in and I am at my wits end trying to figure out what to do/say to my BF about it. He knows how I feel and says he wants the same things for my son and for us....so why doesn't he act?????   ARGH. Any insight to how to handle this would be much appreciated since I truly don't know what to do!

Time for some angry music!  Lol